Health has always been one of my greatest passions; so when I had my first baby, the responsibility of providing for another human life could have been daunting – yet with my knowledge about health, OT background and passion for cooking all coming together nicely I felt secure that all would work out fine.
My expectation was for my child to become one of the “best eaters ever known to man.” (Cue amused laughter.)
Initialy I did overindulge. My son would eat everything I put before him – my sister would laugh as we went to the playground where all his other classmates would sit down for their snack of Oreos while mine were sipping salmon & sweet potato soup! (Okay, maybe this went too far. But don’t judge!) (Yes I may have gone a little overboard!)
My son turned three and refused to eat anything remotely related to vegetables, even after repeated efforts at encouraging him. Anytime I attempted to introduce new foods he immediately rejected it – driving me completely crazy in the process!
Unlearning what works has been quite the adventure as I figure out what’s necessary to help my children enjoy healthy foods while respecting their need for autonomy.
Every mother goes through an emotional roller-coaster when it comes to food for their first-born.
I believe I have finally reached an ideal balance of relinquishing control while encouraging healthy eating habits through fun and education, not coercion. Mealtime with my family now brings enjoyment instead of food battles each night!
As I stated above, my children don’t eat every vegetable I offer them – no matter how often I make broccoli. Truthfully, they wouldn’t care even if I never cooked another bite again!
There are certain things that give me comfort with regards to food: Knowing I am responsible for choosing meals (which my children do), not them, gives me some measure of peace; plus knowing I do my best in providing healthful alternatives.
My children know that, should they choose not to consume what is offered during mealtimes or snacks, they will wait until their next meal or snack comes around before accepting healthy or new food items on their own terms – an understanding I take very seriously as an individual who may have different tastebuds from mine.
Nina Ayd Johanson offered me an incredible feeding course entitled AEIOU: an Integrative Approach to Pediatric Feeding that helped me connect all the dots for both myself and my own kids’ feeding at home and practice. I gained so much from it!
After attending more training in pediatric feeding department, I made an eye-opening discovery regarding my son’s eating situation. Unknowingly, I created an environment of stress surrounding eating/mealtime for him; with each worry about what foods he refused being presented by me as meals were offered up by others.
At first, my son wasn’t eating well again until I finally let go and made an intentional effort to create an environment of enjoyment around our dinner table. He began eating much better thereafter.
I want to help your family enjoy peaceful mealtime routines instead of the nightly food fights! That is why, after years in practice as an occupational therapist, I compiled all aspects of information I have gleaned on how to counter picky eating.
Keep this in mind before discussing typical picky eating behaviors that typically emerge between 2-3 years of age, versus legitimate eating disorders with severe health implications that require treatment and therapy for recovery. In my current discussion I only intend to touch upon typical picky eating patterns.
Finding comfort in knowing that picky eating is a normal stage that toddlers go through may help ease your mind, provided their caregiver provides nurturing support that doesn’t escalate it into something worse. If what you are currently doing just isn’t working, accept that something different needs to be tried instead if nothing seems to work.
Here are my top three tips to help children overcome picky eating & enjoy more varied cuisine: 1. Have family meal together every weeknight (if possible).
Engaging your kids and eating as a family as often as possible is perhaps the single-most essential and often-overlooked component to combating picky eating.
Studies demonstrate a correlation between frequent family dinners and an increase in vocabulary, academic performance and consumption of fruits, vegetables and micronutrients in children.
As kids learn best by watching other models behave similarly, watching you consume different types of foods can teach them how to enjoy eating as well. Through modeling they also gain experience chewing different textures of food as well as how to use various utensils during meal time.
Meals together require everyone eating from one common pot; there’s no taking turns ordering food to themselves from delivery services or take-out menus. Kids eat healthy and well balanced meals alongside their parents. Mealtime should feel shared between you both; some nights you make adult favorites while on others you ask the children for input on what would they prefer for dinner; this way they know that although their parent(s) make decisions regarding dinner they still get some say over it too!
- Create and follow an eating schedule
Implement meal and snack times at specific intervals and adhere to them, helping regulate kids’ appetites while creating a peaceful rhythm in your home around meals.
Children generally like knowing what’s coming next.
Be sure to set an end time and end date for mealtimes; this works wonders for children who take longer than expected to finish one serving of peas. Set a visible timer (this could even work better!) so they know when mealtime will finish; state this as fact without forcing it upon them or holding anything over their head!
Meals should take 20-30 minutes on average to enjoy. There’s no point lingering over meals for hours (I know from experience!). In many social situations (school, etc), this amount of time usually suffices.
- Variety in food intake is crucial.
Experience with various food tastes and textures is vital in developing future food acceptance, particularly within the first year of life. Consider it this way; if your goal is to have your child try new foods more freely and eat more foods overall, how else do you expect them to achieve that without providing ample opportunities to taste, observe, see, learn about, or sample more variety?
Every day, introduce them to something new such as food type, vegetable or texture.
Think finely chopped, fork mashed, soft table foods, meltable solids (crackers), crispy foods, mixed textures (multiple food textures combined together), difficulty chewy products when considering textures.
Consider deconstructing these kinds of meals instead. Try deconstructing meals like lasagna and tacos so they are less daunting for toddlers who find an onion hiding anywhere they look!
Think spicy, sweet, bland, savory, sour and creamy for flavor inspiration; spices too can bring dimension.
In order to increase acceptance of more foods, it’s crucial that all sensory aspects are taken into account when presenting food items.
Prioritise visual appeal; does the food look presentable and, if necessary, how can it be enhanced visually (i.e. cheese on taco meat or noodles atop soup)
Think about how this food will feel to them with their hands; does it feature new textures they enjoy touching, and are they willing to taste/explore it with their mouths. If they resist even touching it with their fingers they probably won’t put any in their mouth!
Next consider the scent. Does it appeal? Don’t fear spice – kids can explore their sense of smell by opening up the spice cabinet! Research shows the olfactory system (smell) strongly correlates with gustation (taste). So if a child likes how something smells, they are likely to give a bite! Be there as your children explore and determine their preferences!
Once all food sensory elements have been covered, your child should now be more willing to taste what has been presented!
Toddlers often require multiple trials of new foods before accepting them, and many parents mistakenly think their child does not like something after rejecting it the first or second time, and therefore do not present it again – instead keep offering this food and be patient as your toddler will eventually accept it at his or her own time.
Even if they do not try the food presented, just engaging with it (through sight, touch, or smell) increases their exposure. After enough exposures they might try taking a bite!
- Cultivate an atmosphere of joy around your table
Be mindful in making mealtime an enjoyable and pleasant experience for children, particularly if something unfamiliar appears on their plate. Make mealtime memorable for all involved by encouraging laughter during meals – they’ll thank you later!
Are You Feeling Overwhelmed or Stressed when Eating? Take a Deep Breath – And Smile! Have Fun Enjoy Your Meal Now With Family Take this opportunity to connect and communicate with everyone, including children! This can help everyone feel more at ease during meal time – maybe it even become something your child looks forward to?
Remind everyone in your family to put away all electronic devices so you can focus on eye contact with one another and conversation together as a group.
Here are a few fun and playful mealtime icebreakers!
Painting With Purees: Grab some baby food purees and let children paint on any surface (high chair topper, paper plates etc) using them as paint brushes to explore mushy textures while increasing tolerance to them and exploring unfamiliar vegetable tastes. Doing this might give them confidence with trying something they wouldn’t normally try – such as painting!
Discuss the colors on their plate: It is essential that our bodies get ALL of the colors of the rainbow for maximum health benefits; what colors of the rainbow have we eaten today?” Ask everyone on a scale from 1-10 how their day was (take turns answering this).
Food Math + Counting: “How Many Carrots Are on My Plate?” and Who Owns the Most Peas? are two key questions when discussing food mathematics + counting.
Dip Tray: Dips can be an engaging way of encouraging vegetable consumption as part of family activity – simply dip crackers or apple slices in peanut/almond butter; carrots into ranch; celery into hummus)
Use training chopsticks so your little one doesn’t drop any.
Use bento forks when trying new foods Sing a silly song or say a blessing together as a family for a fun activity they will remember all their lives! My son uses one from school that we often repeat at home: ‘Thank You Lord For Everything!” (My son often repeats it at school. We all say and sing along!) This simple yet enjoyable activity brings everyone closer. My favorite blessing from him? “We thank You Lord For Everything!” (This line can also be heard my my family).
My absolute favorite activity with kids is teaching them honestly about the food they’re consuming – where it comes from and its beneficial properties in regards to health (for instance: carrots are good for eye strength while salmon comes from an ocean fish and boosts brain power etc…). My advice would be: openly communicate all aspects of nutrition (ie “carrots strengthen eyesight while salmon brings you brain-building benefits…”).
- Describe what’s on your plate by providing information like texture, color, size, flavor size temperature.
Food descriptors can help children who struggle to try new foods. Instead of dismissing sweet potatoes outright as not liking it, consider that she might just be nervous to give it a try because she doesn’t know what’s coming her way.
Children often seek familiarity in life; oftentimes the unknown becomes anxiety-inducing and is an unexpected surprise – perhaps sweet potatoes were initially unexpectedly soggy upon first try?
Be more descriptive. Instead of saying simply, “These are so yummy!” expand upon that by giving more specifics. Perhaps: “These sweet potatoes are orange like the sun! Did you know you don’t need to chew these because they’re so mushy? Watch as I enjoy my yummy meal topped off by butter!” Or instead of saying simply: “I adore carrots!” expand by saying instead: “Watch me make such an audible crunching sound when eating one!”
- Get Your Kids Engage in Cooking & Meal Prep
Being involved with food preparation helps kids anticipate what’s coming to the table without being surprised when there’s chunks in their yogurt instead of smooth texture they were expecting. They could help chop and mix bananas instead of being surprised when chunks appear when expected smooth texture!
Cooking with children can be both exciting and a challenging endeavor, yet both provide ample learning experiences for everyone involved. Children feel more in control – which is so crucial (the idea of shared control comes to mind here!). They’re more open to trying something different because they helped assemble it – my son even experimented with sprinkles (hemp hearts in this instance!) on his peanut butter toast thanks to helping me sprinkle them onto it himself!
Allowing children to touch food before taking a bite increases their odds of eating it as now they are familiar with its texture.
Take a deep breath, accept any mishaps or chaos and try to break everything down into manageable steps.
- Provide three to four choices with at least one safe option as part of their selections
At least three to four choices is ideal to provide maximum room for exploration while providing enough variety that each child is likely to choose something they enjoy eating from each option.
Reducing tension around new food choices by placing safe choices or preferred items on their plate can help to relieve anxiety over unfamiliar eating experiences, making mealtimes much more exciting for children. Consider it as “bait on the plate;” for instance if making vegetable soup why not sprinkle some favorite noodles so this becomes what your child first sees?
Food bait for vegetables often takes the form of spreads, sauces and dips – something I do myself because no one enjoys munching a dry sweet potato! Roasted veggies drizzled in olive oil are one tasty example; but butter on potatoes, cream cheese on cucumbers or even ranch dipped carrots make great alternatives!
- Remove “eat it” or “try some” from your dinner vocabulary
Children instinctively resist persuasion and coercion is likely to heighten anxiety levels for them. Reducing it will therefore help decrease any unnecessary tension amongst children.
I’m sure many parents can recall attempts at persuading their child to try something, only for it to backfire on you and cause more resistance than expected. My son avoided eating pizza for about three years because of this until eventually deciding to give it a go on his own terms.
So serve up some food, relish every morsel on your plate, and get moving, mama!
- Have a safe bowl handy
Make trying new foods safe for children by giving them an out if they don’t like them; children tend to be more willing to sample something when they know they can discard what they tried without penalty, so having an alternative container by their plate where items that don’t suit can be removed is helpful in giving children control over the situation.
Here’s how you can use one:
Simply keep a small plate or bowl near your child’s dinner plate, encourage by example when trying new food and encourage by touching/tasting new items that they don’t enjoy if necessary spit it out or place on their safe bowl for disposal.
- Provide total autonomy (but provide assistance if they request or require assistance)
Being an occupational therapist, my goal is to equip children with skills for successful independence; hence my own reservations with spoon feeding. Again, control is at stake here: children (and most humans alike) prefer feeling in charge when it comes to something directly impacting them like food!
There may be certain types of food which require extra assistance; or your toddler or baby might request additional support at certain points, and that’s fine too; but generally allow your child to feed themselves so they feel in charge of the eating experience.
On this matter (except the mess), take the pressure off yourself by allowing your child to explore textures and food tastes on his or her own. They might even learn new utensil skills along the way!
- Recognise where your child stands on his or her journey towards food acceptance & move forward accordingly
Parenthood can be challenging for any adult; my own included. This was one of the hardest challenges of parenting I faced myself.
Do your best to accept where your child stands on their journey to enjoying more variety in food choices and flavors. No one can force someone else into becoming part of this adventure – instead you are their single most essential supporter in helping them move ahead on this path to food enjoyment and exploration!
So there you are mamas! My goal for you is that by following these easy steps, mealtime will become enjoyable again with your children (and hopefully they will discover new and healthy foods along the way!)